Slipping Away
by aliciadouglas
Summary: Sequel to "Barely Hanging On." Just when everything seemed to be going right, Renesmee's cancer is back. Jacob watches helplessly as she struggles to recover. Will she be able to survive a second time?
1. Deja Vu

**Hello again! Here is the follow up book to "Barely Hanging On." I would suggest that if you haven't read that one, you do, or else this won't make a lot of sense. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

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Nessies POV

I come downstairs in the morning to the very concerned faces of mom, dad and Grandpa.

"What?" I ask slowly.

"Sit down." Grandpa says.

I go sit in the chair, waiting for them to explain what this is about. Why are they looking at me like that? Whats the matter?

"What?" I ask again, a little more sharply.

"Renesmee," Grandpa starts. "Did you notice the bruises on your back?"

"Um, no?"

"And you were sick just the other day. With the flu."

"Yeah?"

"And your always complaining about growing pains even though your done growing."

"Could you just get to the point? I want breakfast."

"Edward came into your room and noticed that something was off about the smell also. Sound familiar?"

I look down at my hands, realization of what he's getting at hitting me hard. "Yes."

"I think we need to get your blood tested again."

"I'm not sick." I mutter.

"You might not be. But its better to know."

"I'm not sick!" I snap before running back to the room I now share with Jacob. I slam the bathroom door shut and hear Jacob startle at the loud noise, jumping out of bed. I pull down my shirt and turn to the mirror.

Dark blue bruises run along my spine.

Jacobs POV

I'm pulled out of sleep by the slam of the bathroom door. I sit straight up and take a few deep breaths to calm my self. That was abrupt. What was that about?

I go to the bathroom door and knock gently. "Ness, what's wrong?" I ask.

She doesn't answer, so I turn the knob to find that its unlocked.

Nessie stands beside the full body mirror with her back turned to it, shirt on the floor. I rush to her side, gripping the top of her arms. "Nessie, are you okay?"

She shakes her head in answer. I look over the front her body, searching for some sign that she's hurt. Then in the mirror I see dark spots on her back, exactly like the ones on her arms and legs years ago. Now I know what she's freaking out about.

I thought she was safe. I thought everything would be okay, I mean, its been four years! Yet, its happening again.

I reach down and grab her shirt, helping her pull it over her head. I take her hand and lead her downstairs, to find that Carlisle, Edward and Bella are sitting in the living room.

"I'm sorry Grandpa." She whispers, then rushes into his arms. Did I miss something while I was asleep?

He pats her back soothingly. "I know sweetheart, your scared. We are to. Are you okay to go now?"

"Yes."

Its very strong deja vu, a tense car ride to the hospital, keeping a tight grip on Nessies hand, rushing through a blood draw. Before I know it, were standing in Carlisle's office again, while he examines the samples him self.

Nessie is in tears and shaking in my arms. I pull her over to the chair just in case she passes out again. A few minutes later the door opens, Carlisle comes in, and from the look on his face we all know the diagnosis. Renesmees cancer is back.

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	2. I'm not scared

**Thank you for the comments already! This is a shorter chapter, so I'll post another one also.**

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Nessies POV

I listen this time, to everything that Grandpa says. Basically its the same as last time though, chemo, radiation, test trials.

"What about donation?" Jacob asks immediately.

"The same person can't donate twice. Bone marrow is definitely an option since it put her in to remission last time, but it would have to be a donor off the national registry."

I'm not surprised that Jacob would do it again if he could. He wouldn't even have to think about it.

"How long does it take for someone to come up on the registry?" I ask.

"A few months, your HLA type is very common so it won't be as hard to find as some others. We'll be doing chemotherapy while we wait."

"How likely is it that I'll be cured a second time?"

"A little less then last time. sixty percent instead of eighty percent."

Grandpa stays after we leave so he can schedule me into the patients list and get a room, in a week I'll be back where I thought I would never have to go again.

Jacobs POV

I'm not sure which time has been harder. The first time, or now? The first time I didn't think that was even possible, so it was like an abrupt awakening. Now its kind of like a sucker punch. Just when we think its really truly over, when we're finally starting to believe that it was just a horrible memory, its happening again.

Nessie is silent the whole ride home. She doesn't cry anymore, she doesn't even look upset. Focused maybe? Determined? There's a look of stubbornness on her face. Like she's either refusing to believe this is real, which wouldn't surprise me, or that she's not going to give in to the illness again, which also wouldn't surprise me.

As soon as we pull into the garage parking spot Edward and Bella are out of the car and running back to the house. Finally Renesmee looks at me, and now a smile is playing on her lips.

"Don't be scared." She says. "I'm not."

Then she slides out of the car, and follows after her mother and father.

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	3. Escape

**Another chapter is here! Hope you all like it :)**

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Nessies POV 

"Don't be scared... I'm not." I tell Jacob before running towards the house.

I'm _not _scared. At least, not yet. I beat it last time, I can do it again. The cancer doesn't own me. Its in _my _body, and I know my body.

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Its the night before my scheduled stay in the hospital, I'm sitting up in bed watching Jacob sleep beside me.

I slowly ease my self off the mattress and slip my feet into my shoes. This might be my last chance in a while to go outside. I listen at the top of the stairs to make sure no one is down there, then rush down the stairs and out the door.

A fine layer of snow is starting to fall, its late november so snow is typical.

I have no plan of where to go, so I start towards the garage. The garage door slides open when I press the button. I go to the very back and find my car. Last year dad decided that it was time I learned to drive. I don't use my car very often, since I normally don't go out alone, but I have one. A light blue Corvette. And I actually have a license.

I drive through town, looking for somewhere that I want to go, but at this time of night everything in Forks is closed except the McDonalds. I've never driven out of town alone before, but right now, with no where else to go and not wanting to go lay down in my bed, I step on the gas pedal and drive out of town limits.

Jacobs POV

I wake in the middle of the night to find Nessies side of the bed empty. Initially I panic, then calm my self down, and tell my self she's probably downstairs, or at the cottage, or in the backyard. She can't be far. I mean, where would she go?

Nessies POV

I pull into the parking lot beside the Port Angeles boardwalk. The streets, which at this time would normally be empty, are buzzing with people coming from the winter carnival. I grab my jacket from the back of the car and walk down the boardwalk.

At the very end I find an empty bench and sit down, wrapping my jacket tighter around me. The wind is chilly, whipping my hair out behind me. White snowflakes catch in my eye lashes and quickly melt. Across the water I can see the lights of Victoria British Colombia dancing on the water, red and yellow and white. When I look behind me I can see the ferriswheel and hear people screaming and laughing at the carnival.

I slowly get up and decide this is not the place to be, I want to be in a crowd of people, I want to feel like I'm only a tiny piece of something huge. I jog back, and down the block towards the glowing party.

Jacobs POV

I lie awake, wondering if I should go look for Nessie or not. Finally I get out of bed and go searching for her. She's not downstairs and she's not outside; I phone Bella's cell to ask if she's at the cottage, and she's not. Bella says they'll be here in a second to help me find her.

Nessies POV

I've only been to a carnival once when I was two years old, I remember thinking it was boring, the slow rides that didn't compare to running, the disgusting food, the stupid people. Now I find it fascinating and beautiful. I walk past the hot dog stands and the games, past the kiddie rides and the petting zoo. Everything is a glow of yellow from the lanterns hanging from strings above, and from the flashing games lights. I reach into my jacket pocket, hoping that my money purse is in there. It is, so I buy my self a maple syrup stick, having never had one. Its really good, much to my surprise. I play a few games, winning a small stuffed polar bear. Then I stand in the middle of all the action, of the people rushing around from stand to stand, and am happy to be alive.

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	4. Safe or not

**Here is the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

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Nessies POV

I know I have to go home, so I reluctantly trudge back to my car. Before I get in I look up at the night sky, past the falling snow and light clouds, the moon glows brightly.

Jacobs POV

"Where could she have gone?!" Edward asks as we stand in the garage, starring at the empty space where Nessie's car use to be.

"Maybe she needed some time to her self." Bella suggests to calm him down.

"But where could she go? This is Forks for crying out loud! There's no where to _go_!"

"She could have just gone for a drive."

"Its snowing! The roads are icy, she should have known better." Edward snaps.

"She can handle her self." I remind him. "Your the one who thought she should learn to drive."

"Just in case she ever needed to! Not so she could put her self in dangerous situations."

Behind us is the sound of tires on gravel, we turn around to see Nessie behind the wheel of her Corvette, waiting for us to move so she can get in. We silently let her through and as soon as she's out of the car Edward grabs her. "What were you thinking?" He asks as he pulls her into his arms.

"I just went out for a bit."

Edward leans back to look at her face. "You were gone for three hours! Its almost four in the morning. We were worried about you!"

"I know. sorry dad."

"Its okay now," He sighs. "Your home and your safe. Just go to bed, we have to be out of here by seven."

She nods silently, takes my hand and we go back to the house.

Nessies POV

Yeah, sure I'm 'safe.' I'm far from, but dad must know that.

Back in the house, I change from my now wet pyjamas into some warm ones.

"Where'd you get the bear?" Jacob asks.

"I went to the winter carnival in Port Angeles." I tell him, flopping down on the bed.

"Did you have fun?"

"Lots of fun. I ate maple syrup on a popsicle stick, and beat some drunks at knocking down bottles. It was great." I laugh.

"We should go sometime."

"I think today was the last day." I tell him.

"There's always next year."

I remember when I was in the hospital, and Jacob insisted on taking me to the beach. _'We can go this summer if your- you want to.'_ He had said, almost wondering aloud if I would be alive in the summer. Now its all changed, we're both determined to make sure I'm alive next year.

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	5. Here we go Again

**Thank you all for the comments and just for reading! I love knowing that people like what I write. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Nessies POV

I'm amazed that I get the same hospital room as I did four years ago, and even more amazed that it really hasn't changed at all. It feels like starting over in a way, this time with a brighter view on my situation, this time sure of my life, not scared, not feeling stupid because I've been acting childish. Everything is better this time, not easier, but _certain._

I hold Jacobs hand while the IV pinches my wrist. Grandpa slides the clip off the IV tube, and the chemicals rush into my arm.

Jacobs POV

When Nessie starts throwing up, its hours later, and I had just started to think she wouldn't have that side effect this time.

"You okay?" I ask after she takes a sip of water to get rid of the taste.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She insists.

"Do you want me to get Carlisle?" Edward offers. "He can get you something to calm your stomach."

"No dad. I'm fine, re-"

Then she starts to heave again. I quickly hold the basin under her chin.

"I'll get Carlisle." Edward mutters as he gets up to find him.

I hate watching Nessie try to convince everyone she's okay, when she's very obviously not. When Carlisle comes in she tells him she doesn't need anything, and he gets her some of the medicine anyway. Which eventually helps.

She sleeps after that. She must be tired after only a few hours of rest last night.

"Jacob, thank you." Bella says quietly.

I look up from Nessies sleeping face, confused. "For what?" I ask.

"Just being here for her. Everyone deserves someone as good as you."

"Uh, thanks? Its not a big deal. I don't mind."

"Most guys would be running for the hills." Bella points out.

"I guess I'm not like most guys."

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	6. Support

**This is a short chapter, and so is the next one, so I might post three today :) I love putting up chapters for everyone to read!**

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Nessies POV

I'm back in the crowd of people at the carnival. I don't know why, but I know I need help with something. I keep going up to people and asking them to come with me, but everyone ignores me. Then I realize, their not ignoring me, they just can't see me. I start screaming in peoples ears and no one even flinches. When I look down at my body I'm slowly disappearing.

My eyes snap open and I shudder. Jacobs arms tighten around me from behind.

"What's up?" He whispers.

I take a few deep breaths until I calm down, the relax back into the pillow. "Nothing. Nothing, a bad dream. I'm fine."

The sky outside my window is turning the pearly gray of another cloudy day. I've lost count of how many I've spent in here. I think its been about three weeks, though it could be more or less.

Days in the hospital are different then days in the real world. Either the hours go by fast in a blur of nurses and blinking monitors, or drag with the knowledge that you can't really do anything or go anywhere. Some days seem longer while others last for ever.

Chemo is easier this time around, now that I know what to expect and know how to handle it so everyone doesn't have to suffer with me.

And Jacob is as amazing as ever. He never leaves my side, and he never lets me stay upset for long. When everything seems messed up, like everything I ever knew about the world is wrong, or that _I'm _wrong, that I'm some terrible freak accident, he shows me that I'm not. He reminds me why I was happy before. He reminds me why I shouldn't be scared. As long as he's here, I won't be.

There are still days when I can barely make my self force a smile, when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and wait for my life to correct its self. That's when Jacob is at his best, making everything seem more possible, making every step of this terrible journey to recovery worth it.

Jacobs POV

Just like last time, the longer Nessie is in the hospital, the worse her outlook gets. Its something about the hospital atmosphere, its depressing in a way. I hope this is over soon. I wish there was some way that I could make it be over sooner, something I could do this time too. But I can't donate again, and that's what she needs, another donation. I give her what I can though, my support, and my love.

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	7. I won't give up

**Hello again :) Enjoy this next chapter, I loved writing it!**

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Nessies POV

I curl up against Jacobs chest, glad that the spinal tap is over. Jacob gently wipes the tears from my cheeks and kisses my forehead. I remember last time, how I broke down, wishing it was all over, wishing I wasn't sick. I still do, I wish that none of this was happening, but now I realize crying about it doesn't really get me anywhere and it only makes Jacob more upset.

"Your still one of the bravest people I know." Jacob whispers before bending in to kiss my lips. "And you know, if I could, I would help you again."

"I know." I sigh.

"I'm sorry I can't."

I roll my eyes at him. "Don't be ridiculous. Don't apologize. Its unnecessary."

"I feel bad anyway."

I just snuggle a little closer.

"How are you feeling?" Jacob asks.

"Fine." I mutter, though my back is still throbbing.

"Don't lie." He insists.

"I'm a little sore, that's all. I'll survive."

When Grandpa comes back I remember the question I was going to ask him before. "Has anyone come up on the donation registry?"

Grandpa shakes his head. "Not yet."

"You said a few months, its been two months."

"It could take up to a year Ness."

I stare at him in shock. That's a lot longer then I thought. "You said a few months." I repeat.

"A few months could mean anywhere from one to a year."

"Is the chemo working at least?"

Again Grandpa shakes his head. "The disease is not going away, but its also not getting stronger. The chemotherapy is holding it at bay while we wait for someone to donate."

"How long can the chemo work like this?" I ask.

"It varies depending on each person. Six months is the average if its not diminishing the cancer."

I catch my breath. That means that if there is no donation in the next four months, I could be dead. Jacob rests his head on my shoulder, I feel his arms around me shaking.

I nod though. I have to believe that I will not die. If I don't its just a way of giving up. And I refuse to give up.

Jacobs POV

After Carlisle leaves Edward and Bella come back in, they must have left knowing that Nessie and I needed some alone time. Nessie pulls it together and tells them very calmly what Carlisle said, but underneath the layer of composer, some other emotion is brewing. I can see it, and I'm sure they can to. Maybe more then one emotion to, for a second, her eyes burn with some kind of ferocity, possibly determination again, then her mouth turns down with what can only be sadness.

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	8. Going home

**This is the last chapter I'm posting today, so I hope you like it :)**

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Nessies POV

Grandpa comes in early the next day, waking me from my sleep. I nudge Jacob and he slowly sits up as well. Dad and mom followed Grandpa in, so now they sit down in the chairs across the room. Grandpa sits down on the edge of my bed, looking between each of our faces.

"Renesmee's next scheduled chemotherapy is in three weeks, so there's really no point in staying in the hospital for no reason. You can go home for a bit Ness, until your next appointment."

I feel a smile spreading across my face, I don't have to stay in the hospital, I can leave. I can go sleep in my own bed and spend sometime with my family.

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Everything is packed and in the trunk of the car. Jacob pushes me in a wheelchair downstairs and out the front door where the car is parked. It feels good to be outside, with the wind blowing on my face and the fresh air and different smells. I think driving home has never been such a relief.

Jacobs POV

As soon as we come into the living room Alice is on top of us.

"I have an idea!" She squeals.

Nessie looks at her like she's crazy. "What's your 'idea?'"

"I was thinking, since you only have a little bit of time at home, you could spend each day with one of us, you know, make some memories, have some fun."

"I don't know Aunt Alice." Nessie sighs.

"Why not?!" Alice whines. "It'll be good for you."

"You won't leave me alone until I agree will you?"

"No."

"Fine Aunt Alice."

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**Haha, I love writing about Alice, she's one of my favorite characters, and she's so pushy when she wants something. I ****_wish _****I had an Aunt like her! Comment, follow, favorite, it makes my day even better!**


	9. Daddy and me

**Hello everyone, I'm sorry about not posting anything yesterday, my family took an impromtue road trip to the beach :) Anyway, I'll post another chapter after this one to make up for it. These next few chapters will be told from just Nessie's POV, because Jacob isn't in them. Enjoy!**

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Nessies POV

Its amazing to wake up in my own bed after so long in the hospital. After a few minutes lying, staring out the glass wall at the trees and the rain, I start to smile. Today is the start of two weeks with my family. I know that at first I wasn't sure about the idea, but now I'm glad I get to spend time with my family. They should have good memories of me.

When I walk into my closet to get dressed, right on the shelf where my accessories are, is a manikins head, with a wig of red curls.

Aunt Alice. Of course she thought of everything to make this perfect. I figure out how to put on the wig, and it looks almost exactly like my natural hair.

I rush downstairs to eat breakfast before going out with dad.

"Sleep good?" Grandma asks, placing a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me.

"Yep."

Dad comes down the stairs a few minutes after I finished my plate, he kisses my forehead as he passes.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"I've got no clue." He says, smiling at me.

So we get in the car and drive, no destination, no where in particular, just drive and talk.

"Do you think that everything happens for a reason?" I ask out of no where.

Dad thinks about that for a moment. "I don't know. I find it hard to believe that everything that's happened is for nothing. I mean, Jacob loved your mother, so he would get to be around when you were born, and therefore, love you. I left you mom, and after that experience, of being away from her, I couldn't ever hurt her. I almost died so that your Grandpa could change me. And if you really think about it, everything is connected... Yes, I believe everything happens for a reason. What about you?"

I also have to think about it. I would use what's going on right now as an example, but we all agreed that was not a subject we would talk about these next two weeks. "I guess. I guess if you believe in fate, you have to believe that everything happens so something else will. And I definitely believe in fate." I lean my head against the window and watch the rain cross the glass.

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	10. The best days

**Another chapter with the family. I can't do all the Cullens though, that would take too many chapters, so you guys should comment and tell me your favorite Cullens and I'll try to write a chapter about them :)**

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Nessies POV

Mom doesn't really have anything planned either, so we spend the day at the cottage, watching old movies and eating popcorn and laughing together.

I can't think of any other thing to do with my mom.

I fall asleep on her lap and she carries me to my bed in the cottage, I curl up as soon as she pulls the covers over me, then grab her hand before she can go.

"Mom." I mutter, half asleep. "I love you."

She bends down to kiss my head. "I love you to Nessie."

I wanted to say more, I wanted to tell her that she shouldn't be sad, that I'll be okay, even if I don't make it through this, I wanted to tell her how _much _I love her. But I don't get the chance before she shuts the door, leaving me in darkness.

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Bright and early the next morning, Aunt Alice is shaking me awake.

"We gotta go."

"Go where?" I ask, though I already know. This is my day with Aunt Alice, and there's only one thing she likes to do.

"Shopping!"

"Couldn't we just stay home and shop on your laptop? That's still shopping right?"

"No no no, you need to get out, and we both need some new clothes."

"Aunt Alice, I have a closet full of clothes I've worn_ once_."

"Exactly, everyone has already seen them. Now get up. We need to get driving if we plan to be in Seattle by noon."

I look at the clock, ten o'clock.

I get dressed, then meet Aunt Alice at the garage.

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"I've always wanted to go to Florida, to bad its sunny all the time." Aunt Alice answers after I ask where she would want to go most in the world.

"I want to go to England."

"Why?" Aunt Alice asks.

"I don't know. Its so old, and pretty."

"We lived in England once. It _was_ pretty, but not that much different from everywhere else we've lived. Rainy and cold."

"Would you want to go back?"

"Yes. I would like to live there again."

Aunt Alice pulls me into one of the shops in the mall, talking about a vision of the cutest outfit in here.

I already carry numerous bags, though Aunt Alice has the most of them. We've stopped in almost every store, buying something from all.

"How much longer?" I ask as she hands me a sparkly blue top and ripped jeans then points me towards the change room.

"There still another mall Nessie. Try it on."

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**Thank you all so much for even ****_reading_**** my story, but you know whats even better? Commenting, following and favoriting! **


	11. Your insane

**I loved writing this chapter, Emmett is such a great character to write about. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.**

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Nessies POV

I'm woken by the loud sound of cymbals right by my head. My eyes fly open to see Uncle Emmett smiling down at me with cymbals in his hands.

"What the hell?!" I ask him.

"Get up!" When I just stare at him, he claps them together again and again until I slowly start getting out of bed. I porously bump into him on my way to my bathroom. "You _will _pay for this." I promise.

"Yeah yeah, just hurry up, we've got a fun day ahead of us."

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"I can't believe we're doing this, we're going to get in _so _much trouble!" I whisper to Uncle Emmett.

"loosen up, live a little."

My stomach is twisting and I'm scared, but this is going to be great.

We're next in line to order at McDonalds, and Uncle Emmett came up with a great plan.

When its our turn I order the chicken nuggets, as soon as the lady hands the box to us, Uncle Emmett grabs them away from me.

"I knew it!" He yells.

The girl at the cash register looks disturbed. "What's wrong?" She asks, probably thinking he's having a mental break down.

"You sick, twisted people!"

Now I'm holding back a laugh, as the people from the kitchen come to see what's going on.

I turn around in mock horror, pulling his sleeve "We're surrounded!" I say, making my voice shake.

"Run Nessie, run! Save yourself! I'll hold em'!" Uncle Emmett yells, while using his fingers as a pretend gun and making blasting noises.

I run to the door and as soon as I'm outside start laughing until I can't catch a breath. Uncle Emmett is escorted outside by the manager a few minutes later.

"What next?" I say mischievously as Uncle Emmett gets back in the car.

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We pull into the parking lot at Target, I watch the innocent people going in for a moment, smiling hugely. This time we have no plan, I'm just supposed to follow Uncle Em's lead.

Inside we go straight to the camping section, Uncle Emmett finds a tent pack and opens it, in no time at all he has the tent built and is pulling it to the middle of the aisle. He motions for me to sit in it with him. People who are walking by stop and stare at us for a second.

Uncle Em bursts out 'black socks' the song that we use to sing when we went on overnight hunting/camping trips. I join him for the second verse. As we increasingly get louder, more people gather to watch us. I feel my face burning with a blush but keep singing. Then he grabs my hand and we do 'pati cack.'

The store owner comes and tells us we have to get out, he follows us to the door. Just as we're about to leave, the speaker comes over the PA saying that blenders are now on sale for 9.99. Uncle Emmett drops to his knees, holding his head in his hand and yells "The voices! Their back!"

I do the same and start humming as if to block out the noise. The Owner grabs us by the arms, attempting to pull us up.

"Why can't you just leave us alone!" Uncle Emmett wails dramatically.

I bite my lip, holding back another fit of laughter.

"Sir, you need to leave the property before I call the cops." The guy tells him.

Uncle Emmett rocks back and forth on his knees, chanting 'not real, not real, not real.'

When the guy leaves to phone the cops, Uncle Emmett grabs my hand and we run out of the store.

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Our final plan for the day was to run around the park in Port Angeles with water guns, squirting everyone, but don't get to because it starts to rain.

Uncle Emmett drives us home, both of us laughing about the ridiculous face of the Target owner.

"How often do you do this?!" I ask, it seems like he's well practiced on the art of crashing places.

"I don't know, whenever Jasper feels up to messing with people. One time we went to a convenient store and threw gummy bears at people. Then Jasper made the cashier have a melt down."

"Your insane!"

"I like to think of it as... living with out regrets."

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**Haha, Emmett is a lot like my big brother, I got the McDonalds idea from something my brother did with his best friend a while ago. It was great. **

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	12. Good things never last

**I might post another chapter today, since this one's pretty short. Jacob's POV will be back in the next chapter.**

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Nessie POV

I wake up late that night, feeling like I'm going to throw up. I run to the bathroom and sure enough, as soon as I bend over the toilet I gag.

But what comes out is red.

I'm throwing up blood.

Almost immediately as this realization hits, Grandpas at my side.

"We need to get you to the hospital."

I retch again, more blood. Grandpa picks me and as carefully as possible, carries me downstairs and into a car parked out front.

"Jacob!" I remember, he's still sleeping in my room.

Dad who I didn't even realize was beside me, is gone in a second.

I reach up to wipe my nose, its running, and my sleeve comes away red to.

"They'll be right behind us Nessie, your losing to much blood, we need to go _now._" Grandpa says before taking off down the driveway.

I feel my self slowly losing consciousness, and struggle to keep my eyes open, to keep my self awake.

"Hold on Ness, we're almost there." Grandpa tries to call to me, tries to encourage me. But by then my head is spinning and the only way to keep my self from falling over is to just lie down in the back seat.

As soon as my head hits the cold leather I close my eyes and give in because I'm to tired to fight it.

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I finally come to again, back in the hospital room.

I suppress a sob. This week was supposed to be spent with my family, at home, actually happy. Not back in the hospital.

a hand squeezes around mine, and I look to my side to see Jacob watching me intently. I instantly pull my self together, I can't show him how sad this makes me, or he'll be sad to. And that's just worse.

Then I look around and see that everyone, the whole family, is here.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "I-"

"Its not your fault Renesmee," Dad says, cutting me off.

I still feel bad, whether it was my fault or not. Barely anyone got to spend time with me, and now they won't get a chance.

"What happened?" I ask.

"You had a low platelet count." Grandpa tells me. When he sees my confused face he adds "Platelets help the blood to clot when your injured."

I don't really want to ask about what comes next, more chemo? Some other, terrible treatment? Nothing, just wait to die? But I need to know. "What now?"

"We're giving you platelets through your IV, but other then that, nothing. We wait for your next chemotherapy session and hope someone comes up on the bone marrow list."

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**Oh poor Nessie, this was so sad to write. We're getting close to the ending! Comment, follow, favorite!**


	13. Break out

**Another one of my favorite chapters, haha, I have a lot of those, but this one is so special to me, so different from most of them, that it was a refreshing change to write. Hope you like it!**

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Nessies POV

I'm shaken out of sleep by a warm hand, my eyes slide open to see Jacob kneeling in front of me, a huge grin on his face.

"What?" I sigh.

He just pulls me into a sitting position.

"What are you doing?" I ask with a smile when I see one of the thick hospital blankets hung over his arm.

He keeps pulling my hand until I get up and follow him out of the room. He pauses for a second at the door, looking to make sure there's no one coming, then we sneak out into the hallway.

I've only been in the hospital for a day, but already I'm missing home again, I miss being able to go out and being able to see my family whole family when I ever I want.

Jacob checks around the corner, searching the nurses station, then he gestures for me to come with him. We start tip toeing down the hallway, then we hear footsteps somewhere behind us, possibly still down the other hallway, but either way I panic.

"Lets go!" Jacob whispers, grabbing my hand again and pulling me in a flat out sprint down the hall, to the elevators. I slam my hand on the button. I check behind us to make sure no one is there still, but the footsteps are getting closer. The doors slowly slide open and we dive in just as the nurse is coming around the corner.

When the doors open again on the first floor, its also empty in the waiting room. My bear feet pit pat over the cold tile floors towards the exit.

As soon as we're outside we both let out a sigh of relief. We got out without being caught.

Jacob leads me around back, to the huge grass field that my window looks out on. The grass is a little bit wet, but the sky is clear and we can see the stars. In the middle of the field Jacob spreads out the blanket. I sit down and pat the space beside me for him to sit to.

"What inspired this break out?" I ask.

"Someone left the nurses cart outside your door and it had a stack of blankets." He shrugs. "And its a beautiful night."

I smile at him and let my self fall back onto the soft blanket, to look up at the stars. Jacob lies down beside me, our hands linked between us.

We end up playing twenty questions, taking turns asking the other something, most of the questions are silly, superficial. Then Jacob asks "Are you afraid of dying?"

I stare at him for a long moment, amazed that he was able to ask that so casually, we've never talked about death before, its not something he likes to think about, even if its a possible future for me.

"No. I don't think death is this scary thing that everyone makes it out to be. It doesn't seem that bad, kind of like... sleeping forever. But there are things I want to stick around for."

"Do you think you'll die?"

That one especially throws me off. "I don't know." I see tears glistening in his eyes. "Hey, its okay." I whisper, cupping his cheek around my hand. "Everything's going to be okay."

I find my self almost in tears my self when Jacob starts actually crying. I still have not seen Jacob cry, we've been together for years now, and not once has he let me see him in tears. So when he breaks down so do I. I roll over, until we're chest to chest, and as he's done for me many times, wipe away his tears. "Listen, I'm not planning on dying." I laugh half-heartedly. "Don't cry now. I'm still here. I'm still alive."

Jacobs POV

I can't believe I'm letting _Nessie _comfort _me. _Its always been the other way around, the way it should be. But for once, instead of insisting that she stop, instead of sucking it up and telling her I'm fine, I let her pull me into _her _arms, let her kiss me until I forget what I was upset about, let her promise me that everything will play out the way it's meant to.

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**Tell me what you think in the comments! Do you think she'll be cured? Will she die? What do you think will happen next? You should also favorite and follow!**


	14. Passing weeks

**I'm going to be posting the rest of the chapters today, since there's only a few more. I hope you like them!**

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Nessies POV

Before I know it, weeks have passed. There's no reason to mark their passing, their all the same terrible, boring days. Most I'm sick from the chemotherapy; others are spent waiting for the next round.

No one comes up on the registry and soon I'm starting to doubt anyone will.

Aunt Alice can't see my future again, its blank. That either means a decision hasn't been made yet, or I'll be dead. We all hope for the first option.

Jacobs POV

Its easy to see that Nessie is getting weaker, the chemotherapy, which is hopefully wearing down the cancer, is also wearing down her. I watch her get worse and worse. For one whole week I keep asking Carlisle if there's any way I can donate again, any loop holes around the rule that you can only donate once, if there is any way that they could make an exception. He says he'd be willing to let me, but the hospital wouldn't.

So there's nothing I can do. Which only makes it much worse. If we don't find a match on the national registry, then I'm going to have to watch her waste away and die.

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	15. No hope

**Only a few more chapters now, I can't wait for you guys to find out what happens!**

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Nessies POV

Once again the door opens, and Grandpa comes in.

"Chemotherapy has stopped working at all. The cancer is progressing and the only way to stop it would be a donation." He says sadly. "I'm so sorry Nessie."

Moms gripping dads arm and dad is sitting in a trance like state, I'm sure Jacob is crying again beside me, and Grandpa is looking like he would cry to if it were possible. Its like being in a hurricane, I'm the calm in the middle of the storm.

"Do you mean... Do you mean I'm going to die?"

He looks pained to admit it, but Grandpa mutters. "Not right away. It will take a few months, but without bone marrow, yes."

I remember telling Jacob that I'm not scared to die. I remember telling him I wasn't scared of the cancer. Of thinking it was in my body, and that I was in control of my own body. I guess I was wrong.

"So that's it? We're done?" I ask in shock, we cant just give up!

"No, not done, but now there's nothing we can do here, without a donation."

Jacobs POV

"So you can go home again. We'll keep you on an IV, to keep you platelets up, but other then that, there's nothing to do but wait and hope." Carlisle continues.

My fear exactly. There's nothing we can do. So I'll watch her die. Its terrible how low my expectations are now, instead of hoping for her to come out unscratched, I just want her to come out. Instead of hoping for a full recovery, I'm hoping for just a little more time. Instead of wishing that she won't die, I'm wishing for it to be painless if she does.

Nessies POV

We drive home that night. I can't stand to look at anyone's faces, full of pity and sadness. Now more then ever, I'm determined to not give up. I need to at least be able to tell my self that I never gave up, that I never let my self give in to the cancer, even if it wins in the end. I put up a good fight.

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**What do you think?! Tell me in the comments below! You should also favorite and follow!**


	16. Waiting

**Wow, so close to the ending! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

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Nessies POV

Home isn't much better then the hospital some days, with everyone giving me side long glances to make sure I'm okay, probably to make sure I'm still breathing. They don't let me do anything really, I can't help out because 'theres no need to push my self.' I can't go anywhere. I can't even go to the cottage. And what's worse is that I feel like everyone's given up on me.

No, not everyone, dad and mom are still with me, and Jacob for sure. Grandpa might be. Everyone supports me, and everyone promises that they believe in me, but it feels like their just saying that.

Jacobs POV

Waiting is horrible. But what's even worse is being unsure if what we're waiting for will come.

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	17. The end

**I really hope you like this next chapter, it was one of the hardest to write.**

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Nessies POV

I watch Jacob getting ready for bed, my stomach in a knot with what I'm about to tell him. It will kill him.

When he crawls under the blankets, curling up beside me, I take a deep, shaky breath before kissing him. He responds surprised, then throws himself into the kiss. When I pull away, its because I'm crying to hard to breath at all.

"Nessie, whats wrong?" Jacob asks, his thumb brushing my cheek to catch the tears.

I shake my head and force a tiny smile onto my lips. "Everything." I chuckle. "Everything is wrong, but don't worry, its no more thne usual."

He nods, then leans into kiss me again, I gently place my hand on his chest, holding him back. "Listen Jake, I need to talk to you."

He nods again, instead of kissing me now, he lays down, pulling me with him. We lay forehead to forehead in the dark room.

"I love you so much Jacob, I'm so glad you were in my life." I'm already getting chocked up, my throat closing around the words that need to be said. "You know that, right? That I wouldn't be the same without you. You are the most important thing in my life..."

Fear registers on his face, his lips part slightly and he lets out a small breath. "You aren't trying to tell me that your, you know, dying?"

I nod as more tears fall from my eyes, staining the light blue pillow case. "Yeah. I am."

"You can't just give up! What happened to fighting it and-"

"I'm not giving up, you can't give up once you've lost. Its over Jacob." I whisper.

"Theres still a chance, you just have to hold on a little longer."

"I can't. I'm _tired _Jake. I'm ready."

"Stay, for me." He suggests.

"I wish I could." I cup his cheek with my hand as he starts crying along with me. "I wish I could stay with you forever, but sometimes, forever is a little shorter then it should be. It was good while it lasted."

He pulls me closer to him, holding me against his chest. "I'll be watching, you know. I'll never actually leave you." I remind him.

"I'll come with you."

I shake my head. "no, you should live."

"I don't _want _to live without you."

"You'll never be alone, and when its your time, I'll be waiting for you."

Theres nothing more to say, so I bury my head in his shirt, breathing in his woodsy smell thats always been a comfort to me.

"Stay with my family." I whisper to him as I close my eyes and wait for sleep to find me, knowing that this will be the last time I sleep.

Jacobs POV

I don't sleep that night, I watch Nessie instead, tears still coarsing down my cheeks. She falls asleep quickly, and shortly after that, her breaths become shallow, and her heart beat slow. I think about waking her, about forcing her to stay, but this is what she wanted. She wants to be in peace.

I bend down to kiss her temple, before taking her hand, so that, in case she is somehow aware of everything around her, she knows I'm here, she knows that I'm not leaving.

Its three in the morning when she takes her last breath, and her heart beat flatters. And its over.

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**So, thats it! Wow, I finished two books, thats just amazing! Just so you know, I was crying so hard while writing this. There was an altternet ending, and if you want I can post that to! Let me know it the comments!**

**Thank you all, so much, for reading!**


	18. Epilouge

**So, I'll post one more chapter, the alternet ending.**

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Jacobs POV

It's been almost eight years since Renesmee lost her life to cancer. In some ways it's easier, in others not at all. I still live with the Cullen's, though we moved out of Forks after Renesmee died. I stay for Bella and Edward, who seem to like having me there, as someone that cared about their daughter as much as they did.

After Renesmee died, I didn't see the point to living anymore, I thought about pulling an "Edward" and trying to kill my self, but Renesmee wanted me to keep going, she wanted me to live for her. So I do. At first it was hard, everything reminded me of her, and nothing was interesting enough to make me forget how I was feeling. One time I was watching something on TV with Emmett and I started laughing, realizing what I did I instantly stopped, covering my mouth with my hand. How could I laugh after what had happened? When Renesmee wasn't here to laugh with me?

"Its okay, you know. You can still enjoy something's. She would have laughed to." Emmett reminded me.

It was a little easier after that, I realized that living for Renesmee, meant living my life to the fullest.

I blamed my self for a while, I kept thinking there was more I could have done, even though I knew there wasn't. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this.

I like to imagine Nessie watching me from where ever she is, happy to see me going on. I like to think that she never leaves, that I'm always in her presence even though I can't see her.

Someday, I'll stop phasing, and I'll start aging again, and soon enough I'll be back with her.

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	19. Alternet Ending

**This is kind of embaressing to put on, it was a very stupid ending in my opinion. This was the original ending, but then I wrote about her dying and it seemed to fit better. But, I think you guys should see the original, because I did put a lot of hard work and effort into it. So, I hope you enjoy it!**

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**Chapter 17: Unexpected**

Nessies POV

There's a knock on the front door and Grandpa goes to answer it. I hear a surprised greeting, and Grandpa inviting whoever it is inside.

When they come around the corner into the living room I have a moment of confusion when I can't remember where I know the two from, the boy with long dark hair in a braid and the woman who is obviously a vampire. Then the memory comes back to me, Nahuel and Huilen, the other half vampire and his aunt that helped us when the Volturi came.

"What are you doing here?!" I ask in shock, standing up to give Nahuel and Huilen a one armed hug.

"We were in the neighbourhood and Nahuel wanted to see you. My how you've grown. And so pretty." Huilen says. Then she looks confused as I was a moment ago. "But what is wrong? You smell... sick?"

I look down at my feet for a second. "Um, I am."

Nahuel touches my bald head and I jerk away, looking back at Jacob who is staring at Nahuel, a mix of hostility and amazement.

"Your hair." He says. "Please don't tell me..." He trails off.

"That I have cancer?" I ask plainly, like its an every day thing, like its something that I tell people all the time.

"Yes." He whispers.

"Yeah, had it for a while now."

"Why aren't you in the hospital?" He asks.

Grandpa speaks up. "There's really no point anymore. Treatment isn't working, so we brought her home so she could be comfortable."

"Do you mean its terminal?" Huilen asks in wonder. "How is that possible? Nahuel has only been sick a few times, and never anything serious, just minor colds and the flu."

"Its like humans, not everyone gets cancer, some people live their whole life without while others get it at an early age. There really isn't any reason for why Nessie got it when Nahuel didn't, its just what happened. And yes, the cancer is terminal unless we find a bone marrow donor."

Nahuel looks conflicted, and something twists in the pit of my stomach. No, oh no, he is not thinking about- "Could I be a donor?" Nahuel asks hopefully.

I fall back into the couch with a huff. What is with everyone wanting to risk them selves for me? I hate it! First Jacob, at least I understood why he would, he loves me. Now Nahuel?! He met me once, years ago! Why do I matter to him?

My whole family is staring now, not just Jacob. They all have a look of hope on their faces to, but Jacob is just angry now.

"The chances are very slim that you would match." Grandpa tells him.

"How hard is the testing?"

"Not hard."

I stand up. "Are you crazy? You don't really know me, I don't really know you. Why would you do that for me?" By the end of the simple sentence my voice is cracking, he would do that... for me.

"Your sick, your going to... If I can help, its only right."

Jacobs POV

"Could I be a donor?"

I feel my mouth fall open then. Sure, I'm happy he would donate to Nessie, that he could save her. But I wish it wasn't _him. _The only other half vampire male in existence. It shouldn't matter to me who donates, but suddenly it does. And I know why, though I hate to admit it, even to my self. I'm afraid ofcompetition, but more then that, if he can donate, I'll be jealous, that he could do that for Renesmee and I can't.

**Chapter 18: Matched**

Nessies POV

Nahuel and Huilen stay for a long time before Nahuel gets impatient and wants to go get tested, when they go I break into tears.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asks, surprised by my outburst.

"What if he matches, what if he matches and he does it and he gets hurt. It would be my fault."

"Nessie, I'm proof of how simple the procedure is. I'm fine. You freaked out last time to. Relax. Breath." He thinks about it. "Is that what this is really about?"

"A little. And, I mean, why does he want to? What does he want in return?"

Jacobs POV

From the look in her eyes I know exactly what she means, what if he wants her to love him.

"Then you have a choice I guess."

"But we all know what I choose." She mutters, wrapping her hand around mine as if to show the decision.

Nessies POV

When the door opens again, I freeze, terrified. Grandpa, Nahuel and Huilen come into the living room and I know the results.

"I'm a match!" Nahuel says brightly.

"Great." I say half-heartedly.

**Chapter 19: One week.**

Nessies POV

Its all scheduled. In one weeks Nahuel and I will be in the hospital, he will donate, I will receive with nothing to give him in return.

Jacobs POV

I find that once Nessie reassures me there's no way she could love Nahuel, I'm more thankful towards him then jealous, though I still am a little angry that he can save her when I can't. I have to keep reminding my self that I did last time, let someone else step up and be the hero.

In one week Nessie could be cured.

**Chapter 20: Cross our fingers**

Nessies POV 

I pace the room. Again.

The only difference this time is that its not my other half on the operating table, instead he's sitting on the bed watching me pace.

"Calm down Nessie." He says for the third time in the past twenty minutes since Nahuel went into surgery. I stayed in my room, though I really wanted to see him, I knew that would be worse.

"What if he something goes wrong Jacob? Then what? Then I let him do something dangerous for me and its all my fault."

"Was she this bad last time?" Jacob asks mom and dad.

"Worse." Dad tells him.

Jacob gets up, stepping in front of me on my way back to the other side of the room. He grabs the top of my arm and holds me still. "You should stop worrying. He'll be fine."

"You can't know that!"

"I went through the exact same thing Nessie. I'm still here today."

"But maybe-"

He cuts me off with a kiss, maybe a little to passionate kiss to be given in front of my parents. I don't protest though, its to nice a distraction.

Jacobs POV

I remember being on the other side of this situation, last time instead of waiting like Edward, Bella and Nessie, I was the one being taken in. Its an odd shift in perspective, and its even odder to see Nessie acting so not _her self._

When Carlisle comes in he tells us that Nahuel is perfectly fine, awake in the room beside us. Nessie rushes out and I would love to follow her, but only one person at a time can go in, and I have no desire to visit Nahuel yet.

When she comes back she's a lot more calm. Edward and Bella go to see him. Then I take my turn.

He's sitting in bed, looking a lot more with it then I felt after my surgery. "Uh, hi." I say awkwardly.

"Hey." He nods in my direction.

"I though I should just come in and say thanks, I know I haven't been the friendliest person on the earth. But I appreciate what your doing for her."

"No problem. And just so you know, I'm not trying to take her away from you. I just want to be her friend. Nothing more. I can see she loves you anyway."

I smile a little. "I know, I mean, I know you weren't."

I leave as quickly as I can, so I can go back to Nessie. When I come in I see her hooked up to an IV bag, smiling at me. "We just started. Lets cross our fingers and hope for the best." She says.

**Chapter 21: Safe**

Nessies POV

Nahuel and Hulien go home only two days later, back to south america, promising to keep in touch. They don't even stay around to find out the results.

When Grandpa calls us into his office I'm equal parts nervous and exited. I'll either be cured, put back into remission or I'll still be sick, and soon to die.

Jacobs POV

We wait in Carlisle's office, the same way we did last time, only this time its more crucial, this time, it can go either way.

Carlisle comes in, you can't tell a thing from his face. I hold my breath and wait while he sits down behind the desk and looks at us all for moment, lingering on Nessies face.

I think he can tell that there's no need for some big speech, that we really just want the answers that are so important to us. "Renesmee..." He starts, talking directly to her. "Your cancer is gone again. Lets hope it doesn't come back."

**Epiloug**

Nessies POV

When Jake and I come downstairs in the morning my whole family is standing in the living room. They break into smiles as soon as I come down the stairs.

"What?" I ask.

"Do you realize what today is?" Aunt Alice asks me.

I turn to Jacob and see him grinning to.

"No?" I say confused.

"Your five years cancer free." Grandpa explains. "Five years means your officially cured, the cancer won't come back."

Jacobs POV

That night, while Nessie is climbing into bed beside me, I grab her hand and pull her away from the mattress.

"What are you doing?" She asks suspiciously as I lead her into the hall.

In the middle of the backyard is a blanket, spread out across the grass. Above us the stars are bright and twinkling, just like they were that night we snuck out of the hospital.

When we sit down on the blanket she smiles at me. I lie back and she goes with me, I take her hand and hold it between us.

"Wanna play twenty questions?" I ask.

She giggles. "Cause' that was such a great idea last time."

"I promise I won't cry." I tell her.

"Okay."

We take turn asking each other questions, and finally, on my twentieth question I roll over onto my elbow, so I'm leaning over her.

"I have a new question."

"What's that?"

"Will you marry me?"

She stares at me for a moment, in shock, that's probably not where she seen this going. "Yeah." She nods. "Yes, I'll marry you."

I pull the ring out of my pocket and slide it onto her finger.

Tonight, everything in the world is perfect.

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**What ending do you like better? I like them both for different reasons. You should comment and tell me yours!**


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